Thoughts on Things

A Man After My Own Heart

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 10:58:21 -0400

[Steve] draws a rectangle. ‘Here’s the new application,’ he says. ‘It’s got one window. You drag your video into the window. Then you click the button that says burn. That’s it. That’s what we’re going to make.’ “

Customer Service

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:48:19 -0400

Every morning I wake up and go downstairs to the coffee shop in my building. I order 1 iced coffee and 1 banana. Today, as I was walking away, nomming on my banana I soon realized that the inside of said banana was black, rotten, and inedible. I usually don’t complain about a minor disappointment in food service because it usually means a lot of work for the staff. If say my dish was not to my liking exactly, I am not going to demand another dish. Who cares, its still food.

But this was different.

I had ordered a banana which would be only food for the next 4 hours or so. Without this banana I was likely to have a terrible morning of zombiness and hunger. I returned to the counter and kindly showed the barrista that, after biting the first few inches off my banana, the center of the banana was rotten. Not mushy, extra sweet, over ripe rotten but the kind of rotten that makes you expect a worm to emerge.

“Hey, this banana’s rotten in the middle, can I grab another?”

“WHAT? AFTER YOU ATE HALF OF THAT ONE?”

“I’m sorry?”, I say, slightly confused.

“Yeah take one, its fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Ok…”, I sheepishly grab what looked like a fresher breakfast banana.

Why do I feel like the asshole here?

You sold me a rotten banana, which, who cares. Its hard to guarantee fruit, but, do not sell me rotten fruit and then scowl at me for kindly asking for replacement.

Kiss your customers ass. They are your boss.

I hope Buckeye Donuts sells bananas.

I’m with Powell

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:19:23 -0400

I’m with Powell

String Theory

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 16:23:23 -0400

“If we zoom in far enough, we see that the particles are actually little rubber bands.” - Complete Idiots Guide to String Theory

This is so wrong. This implies that there is some magical phenomenon that would allow you to directly observe the physical structure of a string. It cannot be observed, so don’t imply that it can. You should say that particles act as if they are made up of tiny strings vibrating at different frequencies.

SEKURITY!!!!!!!

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:44:57 -0500

I get this emails every couple of weeks, they crack me up.

Sometimes I get emails about space security, those are even better.

For more information on the presentation topics or to a electronic copy of the brochure by email.

3rd Annual
CYBER SECURITY CONFERENCE

Emerging Strategies, Challenges, Needs & Technologies

Washington, D.C. - March 23-24, 2010

FEATURED PRESENTERS INCLUDE:

- Mr. Tim Harp, SES Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for C3ISR & IT Acquisitions

- MG Susan Lawrence, Commanding General, NETCOM/9th Signal Command, US Army

For more information or to view the conference speakers, please visit our website: http://www.ttcus.com/cyber-security/

Plus Over 24 Leading Experts from: DASD/NII, NETCOM, NCDOC/USN, AF/24th, DHS, USCC, Joint Staff, NIST, US CERT, DoJ, NSA, FBI/NCIJTF, Cisco Systems, Harris Corporation, Deloitte, BAE Systems, Northrop Grumman, Intel, Boeing, General Dynamics, Mantech Security & Mission Assurance, IBM, US Cyber Consequences Unit, and RAND Corporation examine:

- Latest DoD & Government Cyber Security Policies, Strategies and Imperatives

- Understanding Current Threats to DoD and National Networks & How to Defend against Them

- Emerging IT Procurement Requirements & Acquisitions Strategies

- Learn the National Vision for Critical Infrastructure Protection, including Homeland Security and Energy

Sponsored by American Institute of Engineers

Coordination by Technology Training Corporation

For sponsorship or to exhibit please contact mmin@ttcus.com

To be deleted from this list - please reply with writing “cancel” in the subject line.

Technology Training Corporation
1960 East Grand Ave, Suite 1225
Los Angeles, CA 90245

The Frown Song - Ben Folds

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:35:46 -0500

Tread slowly from the car to the spa
Like a weary war-torn refugee
Crossing the border with your starving child
It’s a struggle just to get to shiatsu

Present the waitress with your allergy card
And tell her all your problems
And leave no tip at all
Down to the shoe store with your friends
Speculate who might be fucking the guru

Rock on, rock on, with your fashionable frown
Rock on, rock on, spread the love around
Rock on, rock on, with your fashionable frown
Spread the love around

Do you remember how we managed before
We could afford real nervous breakdowns
Or before the Anthropologie store
Was erected on Indian burial grounds

So really don’t you see a little of yourself
In the bathroom attendant that you just scowled at
Or the child who’s hiding inside
As you wipe the smile off the teenage barista

[Chorus]

All right

You’re gonna be all right, baby
You’re gonna be all right, baby

Floating back from the spa to the car
A state of bliss, and it wasn’t the steam room
Sometimes life’s not so bad
Now we know who’s been fucking the guru

[Chorus]

Green Rectangle - A distributed payment and commerce...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:44:51 -0500

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First Instrument Lesson

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:59:57 -0400

On October 28th I had my first instrument flying lesson with Kathy. An instrument rating is a much different than the private certificate. Getting your private certificate you spent most of your time learning how to fly, straight and level, climbs, descents, turns, landings, etc. These are considered primary skills. Just like dribbling and passing are to basketball, basic ‘stick and rudder’ skills are the back bone to the rest of your flying game. The private certificate only required a limited ability to do other, more precise, activities. Basic instrument flying is taught in the primary training. Basic means: if you aren’t paying attention and fly into a cloud, do this and you won’t spiral into the ground.

Flying on instruments, then, could also be considered a primary skill. During primary training, you learn to fly the airplane on reference to what you see outside. By referencing the angle between the wing and the horizon you can determine your pitch and roll of the airplane. By this method you learn to do all the previously mentioned ‘primary skills’. Instrument flying requires you to disregard the sights and sensations that you learned fly on and to rely on the mechanical gadgets that are in the cockpit. More than just disregard these sensations you must teach yourself to ignore them. The mind is incapable of sensing its orientation and motion without visual reference. Often you find yourself thinking you are in an orientation but the instruments tell you something different. Your body feels like its turning but, in fact, the instruments say otherwise. The first time this happens can be very disconcerting.

When flying on instruments, the outside world and your relation to it are summed up with the following picture.

From left to right we have:speed, orientation, altitude, rate of turn, heading, rate of climb.

The most important instrument of all of these is the attitude indicator (top middle). The attitude indicator has replaced the comforting view of the ground that was used when first learning how to fly. Done right, the attitude indicator is all that you need to keep the dirty side down and the pointy end forward. With the attitude indicator you would be able to tell how you were oriented in pitch and role but the it provides no indication of direction or heading. The heading indicator, directly below the attitude indicator, provides this.

Using these and the other 4 instruments an instrument rated pilot is capable of flying the airplane from point A to point Z with only seeing the airports at each end.

Yesterday I had my first lesson to become an instrument rated private pilot. A cold front had just moved through and a low pressure trough settled across the mid-Ohio region. This caused instability which lead to an overcast cloud layer at about 1000 feet above the ground. A terrible day for visual flying but excellent for an instrument flying lesson. Kathy filed a flight plan for us and actually handled most of the procedural things. When flying on instruments, you can no longer use the ‘see and avoid’ method of not running into other airplanes. The burden of providing separation then falls on the controller. The controller is responsible for keeping you and other aircraft from trying to fly through the same spot. Because flying on instruments requires this added layer of protection, a flight plan MUST be filed with specific intentions declared. The controller can then do what is necessary to provide separation.

Kathy handled copying our clearance from clearance delivery (a controller) and I handled calling ground and getting the airplane started, off the ramp, and into the sky. Once airborne we were given our usual turn north and handed off to the approach controllers from the tower. (The tower only controls who can land or not, the approach controllers actually handle the people in the sky.)

At some point in our climb out we flew some place I had never flown before: the inside of cloud. And for anyone interested, the inside of cloud looks something like this:

Very little to look at.

From here we continued to Appleton, a navigational beacon used for aviation. We practiced holding patterns for about an hour. Holding is basically flying around a point, waiting for further clearance.

Instrument flying is a very different ball game, much more cerebral and precise than what is required for visual flying. I am continuing with the instrument rating because:

1. I am a sucker for learning new things

2. It should serve to make me a better pilot

3. It gives me an excuse to go to the airport and fly

4. It is another rating that will never expire

So here I go again. The celebration of my new certificate has been pushed to the wayside as I dive into the books again and go from knowing an entire subject to being a neophyte. But this is the stuff that makes me tick.

( I will be writing a post shortly on my use of FSX as a training aid: the hardware, the software, and how I use it. )

Learning to Fly

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:13:00 -0400

Today I completed my private pilot training by passing the private pilot checkride. It has been one of the most fulfilling experiences I have ever had. I began my training this past summer. I decided I wanted to take lessons, this is going to sound really nerdy, after playing Microsoft Flight Simulator all winter and becoming slightly obsessed. Eventually, the rush of a playing a game about flying wore off and I sought more. I played around with the idea of taking lessons for a few weeks. I really wanted too but was afraid mostly for my safety. I mean, people die in these things all the time, right? I dug into some research, trying to justify to myself (mostly Sarah) that flying little airplanes was safe enough. After searching around and reading many peoples’ take on the question I came across a statistic that put me at ease. The chance of the average american dying of an accidental death is about 1 in 20. The chances of a lifetime pilot being killed by flying is 1 in 50, less than the normal accidental death rate. So, the chances of dying in an accidental death OR dying in a plane crash can be calculated by the sum of the two probabilities minus the product. This brings my chance of accidental death from 5% to 7.9%, I can live with that (just don’t tell my life insurance provider).

Once I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t putting myself in harm’s way, I set out to find a flight school. Turns out if you punch ‘columbus flight instruction’ into the googles the first thing that pops up is ‘Columbus Flight Instruction’. (Awesome SEO, right?) It intrigued me because Kathy, the owner and sole instructor, operated out of Port Columbus, an airport dominated by airline and corporate jet traffic. Rather than letting this scare me away I thought it would be a good learning environment. I thought: learn to fly with and talk like the big boys right away, and you won’t develop a phobia of large airports. Also, Port Columbus is the closest airport to my house, another very important criteria. Long, frequent drives can put a damper on your attitude.

I filled out Kathy’s online form and the next thing I knew she called me to schedule an introductory flight. This happened on June 26th. Kathy took me up, flew around downtown, went out of town a bit and turned around. After we landed, Kathy asked what I thought. At this point I knew it was something I was going to do. That day I bought a log book, a text book, plotter (for navigation), slide rule (for performance calculations), and some charts.

After this I scheduled as much time with Kathy as possible. Every day after work that was available I would snatch up. I wrote an iCal script to send an email automatically, two weeks in advance to schedule a lesson. (Kathy only schedules two weeks in advance.)

Everything went swimmingly until we started doing landings. Landings are hard, this is something you learn very quickly. It is hard to take a object moving at 60 MPH, that has 6 degrees of freedom, and put it on the centerline of a piece of pavement without hurting anyone or anything. After about 30 or so landings you start to get it. I would say it is about as hard as parallel parking a car. Really hard at first but is a skill that can be improved. And just like parking, sometimes you just don’t get it right and you have to try again (go around)

Eight lessons after the intro flight and 70 landings later, Kathy had me pull over to the ramp, got out of the airplane, and let me solo around the pattern. An exhilarating experience that is deeply etched in my memory. When you first lift off the ground you are filled with this sensation of ‘Oh my god. What have I gotten myself into?’ Then, after landing safely, you taxi back to the ramp and realize that your knuckles are white and your knees start to shake.

From here things moved into the ‘post solo/pre cross country’ phase. We learned many different things, not all pertaining to ‘stick and rudder’ skills. Things like, radio navigation, charts, uncontrolled airports, simulated instrument conditions, short and soft landings, emergency procedures, etc. In the mean time Kathy and I did two ‘dual’ cross countries in preparation of the solo cross countries required for the certificate. These were to Cincinnati and Holmes county. After completing these Kathy endorsed me for my solo cross countries. We ended up doing a short one to Sidney, Ohio on September 14th, and a long one to Findley and Mansfield on October 5th. The rest of our time consisted of reviewing for the flight test and doing ground preparation for the oral exam.

On October 18th, Kathy endorsed me to take my flight test and on October 25th I received my private pilot’s certificate.

It wasn’t cheap, but also wasn’t absurdly expensive. For anyone interested I am going to detail the total costs for me to receive my PPL, along with other metrics.

First Lesson: July 5th

Certificate Received: October 25th

Total Period: 112 days

Number of Lessons: 35 + 6 Ground Lessons

Total Hours: 62.9

Solo Hours: 11.5

Rental Costs: $94.25 per hour

Instructor Costs: $45 per hour.

Total Instruction Cost: $8,565

Materials (books, headset, charts, etc.): $500

Examiner’s Fee: $300

The costs are high. I have spent the majority of my income this summer on getting my license ( and aviation related iPhone apps), but I do not regret doing it. Being a pilot is something you never lose, as long as you have a biannual flight review by an instructor and can pass a medical exam every five years you will be a pilot for life. If you are considering it at all, just do it. Save the money up first, and do it. The more compressed the training the more you retain and the faster it will go, ultimately saving you money. Putting the time in on the ground will also save you a lot of time. Read aviation books, find some aviation related mailing lists or forums, listen to aviation podcasts (Uncontrolled Airspace is great, some very experienced and colorful hosts.), look at airplanes that are for sale, join AOPA and/or EAA, watch One Six Right. Being immersed in the subject really accelerates the training process.

Hope some of you found this information interesting and maybe even useful. If you are thinking about it at all, drop me a line and I will try and convince you to just do it. Drop me a line even if you aren’t thinking about and just want to tell me how crazy I am.

"I dunno. Guy’s a million times more intelligent and successful then I’ll ever be. But I kind of hate..."

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:26:56 -0400

“I dunno. Guy’s a million times more intelligent and successful then I’ll ever be. But I kind of hate how he’s seduced a generation of self-satisfied people with bachelor’s degrees into gorging on his horn-rimmed buffet of insouciantly bloggable cocktail party facts. It’s like meth malteds to the thin-boned lads who worship at his probably large Canadian feet.”

- Merlin Mann re: Malcolm Gladwell

I’ve thought about blocking ads but then I would miss out...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:43:45 -0400

I’ve thought about blocking ads but then I would miss out on things like this.

Photo

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:10:13 -0400

E. Leonard Jossem passed away several weeks ago but his shared...

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:12:45 -0400

E. Leonard Jossem passed away several weeks ago but his shared disk lives on.

Dr. Jossem was an emeritus professor here at Ohio State. He worked on the Manhattan project and a number of other noteworthy endeavors.

Shiny Bird

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:36:43 -0400

Shiny Bird

Bike

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:40:22 -0400

Bike

Great video for the aspiring home builder or anyone else...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:42:49 -0400

Great video for the aspiring home builder or anyone else interested things of a mechanical nature.

East Arcadia State: 2009 MindSetter Sheet

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:54:56 -0400

The dorm in the background is at my alma mater, Ohio State.

youlooknicetoday:

At the dawn of each academic year, East Arcadia State University prepares our instructors and staff by curating some facts and observations about the generational differences that are peculiar to our incoming freshman class. By understanding how the world looks to them, we hope to provide the best possible educational experience. In other words:

How have things “always been” for East Arcadia’s incoming class of ‘13?

First, let’s kick off the ought-niner MindSetter with the hard and painful facts.

Folks, there’s no nice way to put this: many of these kids are young and uneducated.

Recent data conducted by the prestigous Van Hœt Group suggests that many of the 17- to 20-year-old students who comprise the fattest part of our freshman curve are not yet 21 years old; many are barely older than 16. But, it gets worse.

Van Hœt has aggregated, analyzed, and cross-referenced historical data suggesting that as late as September of 1960, at least 40% of the students entering college for the first time did not have a Bachelor’s or Master’s Degree — let alone the extensive post-doctorate experience we all now understand to be critical for the long-term success of dodging costly loan repayments. Today that number is over 90%. You heard right. That’s “ninety.” With a “b.”

So in sum, these kids are mostly under 20, completely hopeless, probably armed, frequently drunk or high on I-don’t-even-want-to-know-what, plus they already can’t afford the education that they haven’t received with the money they haven’t figured out how to not pay back. It’s literally that bad. Today. Here.

But we keep our chins up at East Arcadia. It’s one reason everyone loves scarves and complains of chronic neck pain.

Students entering college for the first time this fall were generally born in 1990. Some were born earlier or later than 1990. Our youngest student is a Fulbright Scholar and surprisingly robust preemie who, because he was born last week (36 weeks pre-term), will be our sole tenant in the spanking new Petri Hall. We think the nurturing culture there will suit “Li’l Jacob” well.

That said, for all of these students, Thomas Aquinas, Rutherford B. Hayes, and Petrarch have always been dead. Bob Hope and Guy Lombardo have always been assumed to be dead (N.B.: both are, indeed, now dead).

Many other people have also been dead, but space and costly mimeograph expenses preclude our typically exhaustive accounting. Thanks in advance for understanding (especially if you’re the obese tenured “atin-lay ofessor-pray” whose entirely avoidable 4th cardiac event singlehandedly sent the entire college’s insurance premiums through the roof. Keep inhaling those pork rinds, Professor. Sic Semper Pork something).

Anyway.

So, our big, annual question: How’s life always been for this year’s incoming class at East Arcadia?

Copper has always expanded when heated. Although, it’s also always been less satisfying as a snack than, say, a Hot Pocket or a slice of cold lamb with a little sea salt and a dash of fresh ground pepper

March has never been called “Burkina Faso” which is one possible reason so few of our students choose to attend Spring Break on whatever continent that place is

Phones have always had some sort of technical facility for sending and receiving the sound of the human voice while one is nude, dining, or just quietly masturbating to a well-loved 1978 facebook

Elephants have always been the one thing most people associate with Hannibal’s famous attack, although almost no one knows why, but they still sing that song “Baby Elephant Walk” and make really obvious Silence of the Lambs jokes until security arrives

Golf has always been a costly diversion for tedious white people who dislike their children, but enjoy drinking near sprinklers and pesticides

Anilingus has always been something many people of all ages are nervous to ask for (even if it’s for an anniversary or your birthday or because you literally caught your so-called “spouse” doing it to a civil servant like she was eating corn on the cob and Jesus Christ right there in your own goddamned house where your fucking kids sleep at night. Or what have you)

Laser bird shoes and the dangerous nesting boxes that are used to store their colorful waste have both always never been invented yet (for now)

Tattoos have always been more permanent and cost-effective than an equivalently regrettable t-shirt — especially given the rising popularity of the japanese symbol that someone in rubber gloves whom you just met after Tiffany’s “Sex in the City” themed engagement party while you were admittedly pretty drunk has told you means “Um….’one…ness…of…brave…spirit…woman…hearts…and peace.’ Yeah. It’s Kanji.”

Oceans have always been a sloshy, watery, unnavigable presence, teeming with dragons, non-white immigrants, and rich deposits of Lorenzo’s Oil, all floating in completely unknown locations somewhere between the better documented but much smaller big, landy parts of the continent things

Jetpacks and moving sidewalks have always been a lazy way to frame false dichotomies about society, technology, and the complex ways that resource scarcity do or do not hew to century-old pulp fiction and coloring books. Related:

Steampunk has always been a diverting way to make something pedestrian a little less useful by adding a makebelieve brass thing and some polished wood. (Don’t miss our collection of Jules Verne’s infamous “Felching Jars” and “Walnut Poppers” in the rear of the Lisagor Library, [Wing B]. Ask for “Betty”)

Three-card monte has always been a socially acceptable urban application for soiled cards and shoddy, collapsible tables. (FACT: This is why East Arcadia’s marching band still plays Joplin’s popular “Pump the Suckers then Boogie with the Booty Rag” before every football game)

For this class, mentioning the music of Mozart has always been a subtle means to evoke sophistication in a way that many people are too polite to call out as proof that the mentioner is so full of shit because did you know that Amadeus actually has enough plot holes and factual errors that it might as well be called Ooooo, Look at Me! I’m Fucking Peter Schaffer, and Apparently I Couldn’t Distinguish Mozart and Salieri from Fucking Simon and Garfunkel Unless I Had a Goddamned Flashlight, Five Viennese Rent Boys, and a Giant Bouquet of Edelweiss Up My Ass. Wheeeeeeeee, Mozart Something Something!

Lists have always been a great way to turn a bunch of bullshit into some fast web traffic. So listen to an okay funny podcast called You Look Nice Today (iTunes). As the school year begins, you can start out by learning more about East Arcadia in an episode entitled, “Vachina.”

East Arcadia:
E Somnus Cholera. (Et Leonem)

Photo: Thanks to InsoOutso

Creepy.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:28:01 -0400

Creepy.

Video

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:14:54 -0400

Video

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:58:36 -0400